![[becoming yourself (1600 x 900 px)3.png]] # Becoming Yourself: The Complete Guide to Gender-Affirming Surgery > **I wrote the book I couldn't find**. In May 2024, I decided to get a nulloplasty. I had good health insurance, a supportive partner, and zero idea where to start. The most overwhelming part wasn't the surgery itself. It was figuring out the path to get there. Reliable information barely existed online. I learned the most from talking to other nullos on X — not from any clinic or resource site. When I called an in-network provider in Chicago, they were booked out seven months just for a consult. A navigator at Howard Brown Health told me flat out that bottom surgery was impossible to get done in anything less than 6 to 12 months. They were wrong. I had all my letters in hand within 48 hours thanks to telehealth. I had a surgery date within nine weeks. I went from $0 in the bank to fully funded through community support on X. And I did it by ignoring every person who told me it couldn't be done that fast. But I had to piece it all together myself. Every step. Every phone call. Every insurance question. Every decision about surgeons, recovery logistics, what to pack, what to expect, what nobody tells you. _Someone should really write all of this down in one place,_ I thought. No one had. So I did. **Becoming Yourself: The Complete Guide to Gender Affirming Surgery** is 1,093 pages, 40 chapters, and two years of work. It covers every major bottom surgery procedure, 12 countries, insurance navigation, surgeon selection, recovery, complications, caregiver guidance, and long-term thriving. It is the only book about nulloplasty ever written. Not the first. The _only_. And it is the first comprehensive guide to gender-affirming bottom surgery written by a patient, for patients. --- ## The problem isn't that information doesn't exist. It's that you can't trust it — and most of it won't apply to you anyway. Every gender journey is different. Surgery decisions that worked for someone else might not work for you. And when you're navigating something as personal as bottom surgery — especially with a Lego-block approach to parts and gender — generic advice falls apart fast. Right now, your options are Reddit threads where the top-voted answer is three years old. Discord servers where you're asking questions a hundred people have already asked and getting a hundred different answers. Clinical brochures written for doctors that explain what a procedure _is_ without telling you what it _feels like_. Memoirs that tell one person's story but don't help you navigate your own. And worst of all: advice from people who have a financial interest in which surgeon or procedure you choose. You're spending dozens of hours assembling a patchwork of fragments and hoping you haven't missed something critical. Meanwhile, the stakes are enormous. The financial weight alone can be life-altering. Add months to years of recovery. Permanent changes to your body — changes that can be _life-changing in the best way_, if you go in prepared. One wrong surgeon choice can mean a revision. One missed insurance requirement can mean a denied claim. One skipped preparation step can mean a complication that was entirely preventable. You deserve better than a patchwork. You deserve information written by a real patient who has been through real gender-affirming bottom surgery — someone with no financial stake in your choice, who understands that your journey won't look like anyone else's and gives you the tools to build your own path anyway. That's what this book is. --- ## What surgeons can't tell you Surgeons can explain techniques and outcomes. They can show you diagrams and statistics. They cannot tell you what it feels like to wake up from anesthesia and look down at your body for the first time. They cannot tell you what week three of recovery is actually like — not clinically, but _actually_. They haven't spent decades living with dysphoria. They haven't navigated insurance denials or fought for prior authorization while trying to hold their life together. I have. I underwent nulloplasty in August 2024 at the Crane Center in San Francisco. I experienced serious complications. I had a revision surgery in November. I researched obsessively, made preventable mistakes, and came out the other side with a question I couldn't shake: _Why did I have to figure all of this out alone?_ This book is my answer. --- ## The WPATH templates that will save you months Here's something most people don't realize until it's too late: many therapists are willing to write WPATH letters but have _never written one before_. They don't know what to include, what language insurance companies expect, or what surgical practices require. The result? Multiple revision rounds. Letters that get rejected. Extra sessions spent figuring out formatting instead of actual care. Delays measured in weeks or months. This book includes **8 complete WPATH therapy letter templates** — SOC-8 compliant frameworks your provider can reference to get it right the first time. They still need to evaluate you and write the letter themselves. These templates just make sure it doesn't get kicked back. If you've ever had a letter rejected or spent three sessions watching your therapist Google "WPATH letter format," you know what these are worth. --- ## What's inside **Volume 1: Preparation, Procedures, and Recovery** covers understanding yourself, preparing for surgery, and every major procedure in depth — not just what it is but who it's for, what the variations look like, realistic timelines, the full truth about risks and complications, and the things clinical materials won't tell you. It closes with a comprehensive recovery guide and something that has never been published before: a full caregiver guide with practical skills, emotional support strategies, burnout prevention, and crisis resources. **Volume 2: Long-Term Living and International Access** covers documenting your journey, physical recovery and relationships, thriving long-term, a framework for international care, the reality of trans healthcare under political siege, and country-specific guides for 12 nations. **17 Practical Appendices** including a surgeon questions checklist, a 9-week surgery sprint plan, a recovery milestone tracker, insurance appeal templates, medication trackers, an international packing list, and a caregiver quick-reference card. --- ## For the people who love someone trans Someone in your life is considering surgery, or preparing for it, or recovering from it. You have questions you're afraid to ask. You want to help and you don't know how. Chapter 25 is written specifically for caregivers and partners — what to expect, how to help, when to worry, when it's normal. There's a quick-reference card in the appendices you can keep on your phone. If you're a friend, this book gives you enough understanding to show up without saying the wrong thing. If you're a parent, it helps you understand what your child is going through. If you're a therapist or provider, it gives you the patient perspective that clinical training doesn't. You don't have to be trans to need this book. You just have to care about someone who is. --- ## About me I'm Axl Ibiza. I go by @borgpup everywhere. I'm a nullo who underwent nulloplasty, dealt with serious complications, went through revision surgery, and came out the other side determined to make this path easier for everyone who comes after me. I built [bottomsurgery.info](http://bottomsurgery.info) and a community support infrastructure from scratch. I also hold a BA with Comprehensive Honors from UW-Madison (Phi Beta Kappa), an MBA in Finance from Johnson & Wales, and I previously worked for James Beard Award-winning chefs. I bring the same rigor to this book that I brought to every professional chapter of my life. This isn't a blog post that got long. This is what happens when someone with serious research credentials decides the existing resources aren't good enough — and has the lived experience to know exactly what's missing. ## Not sure yet? Read my work for free first. If you've never read anything I've written, don't take my word for it. Check out https://bottomsurgery.info and my [Substack](https://flatcrotchdispatch.substack.com/), where I write about surgery, recovery, gender, community, and everything the medical establishment won't say out loud. Same voice. Same honesty. Lots of free content without a paywall. If that resonates, the book is where it all comes together. --- ## $49. 40 chapters. 1,000+ pages. 12 countries. 17 appendices. 8 WPATH templates. Written by someone who's been through it. This is the resource I needed and couldn't find. Now it exists. --- ## About the Author: Axl Ibiza ![[Gemini_Generated_Image_x9k1hx9k1hx9k1hx.png]] * **Handle:** `@borgpup` * **Procedure:** Underwent Nulloplasty (Aug 2024) at The Crane Center. * **Credentials:** MBA in Finance; BA with Comprehensive Honors (UW-Madison). * **Experience:** Founder of `bottomsurgery.info`, community infrastructure builder, and former professional culinarian. > [!QUOTE] The "Insider" Perspective > "Surgeons can tell you what they do. They cannot tell you what it's like to be operated on... This book comes from someone who has lived with dysphoria for decades and actually underwent surgery and recovery." --- > [!SUCCESS] Get the Book > **Cost:** $49.00 USD > **Format:** Digital (PDF/E-book) > **Includes:** 40 Chapters, 1,093 Pages, 17 Appendices, WPATH Templates ## [Get your copy today — $49 →](https://borgpup.gumroad.com/l/tyslr) --- > [!tip] Related Pages > - [[Borgpup Pre-Op Nullo Q&A]] — candid Q&A before my nulloplasty > - [[Borgpup 2024 Nulloplasty Journey]] — day-by-day recovery documentation > - [[Borgpup 1-Year Post-Op Nullo Q&A]] — one year living as a nullo > - [[How to Prepare for Gender Affirming Surgery]] — free pre-op preparation checklist > - [[Global Resource Directory]] — providers and funding across 10+ countries